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This year signifies a ten-year milestone since the word “disappearing” hit the common lexicon. Back then, the notion that someone could suddenly stop communication with a lover without a word seemed like the height of disrespect. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, finding a significant other has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes unsuccessful endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media slang.

Gen Z, a demographic who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a concerted attack on the rights of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their millennial elders could ever envision. And so their romantic glossary has grown longer and more bizarre, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” pushing the limits of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a detailed guide to the words gen Z is using to talk about love, sex and the quest of both. To channel one of the year’s most viral memes, by the conclusion of this list you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – In the view of gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon connected to a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your date's response is inquisitive or dismissive. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while exuding mystery and self-sufficiency. (She might still have baby bangs.)

C

Chair theory – This signifies choosing someone who helps you proactively. If you entered a room, they would fetch a chair for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people connect while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do budget-friendly dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Melting down when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a crush or breakup, venting all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 1980s yuppie affluence, it describes pairs who opt out of parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The opposite of being guarded: embracing dialogue, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Flags

• Warning signs – Behavioral quirks indicating a prospective partner is trouble. Such as calling their former partners crazy, subpar gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These traits validate your decision to pursue a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These usually describe specific, mostly harmless idiosyncrasies. For instance being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who hates the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things creates closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The rare partner who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, deliberately postponing orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women's increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An ideal touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who apparently has no aspirations of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and frequently trivial dealbreakers that immediately extinguish any sense of attraction.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an incredibly thoughtful display.

J

Careers – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some gen Z prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance believable.

Kittenfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {